


The World of Jookyun

by onehunnitlines



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabbles, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multiple Pov, Slow Burn, as will ratings per chapter, multi-chaptered, no beta we die like men, tags will be updated as drabbles are posted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onehunnitlines/pseuds/onehunnitlines
Summary: Just a collection of works about my favourite rap line, loving each other through the many stages of their life.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon
Comments: 14
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some of these will be in the same verse, some won't. I will indict them at the top and try to upload them in chronological order.

Changkyun didn’t expect to fall sick once he got to No Mercy- but he finds himself shaking under the thin blankets he’s using. The others are all asleep, or away in their rooms and he’s pulled on a hoodie, sweat pants and thick socks- but the chill isn’t subsiding. 

He knows he has a fever, knows that his skin is clammy- but there’s no one to ask for medication, and he doesn’t have his own. 

Besides, none of the hyungs will speak to him still. He wakes on his own, fumbles to find food on his own- is the last allowed in the bathroom still. They haven’t warmed up to him in 6 days. 

The barest words from Jooheon after their recording session were the most he has been spoken to. And he had embarrassed himself by crying. Ugh. 

It seems as though Jooheon is the leader of sorts, and rightfully so- when Changkyun heard him rap on all of the past episodes it was easy to see why. Then he actually saw him work. He was a lyricist, had his tone and rhythm down- knew his craft so well already that he was being praised by industry experts.

Changkyun just wanted to be accepted, just a little- a first step to put his foot up on. 

He sighs, swallowing around the lump in his throat. This was hard. Harder then he had anticipated- being openly ignored but surrounded constantly by the others. He understands their feelings, he does- but it doesn’t make it easier. He wanted to come here and prove something, show that he belonged. That he deserved to be there. So far, he hasn’t been able to. 

At some point Changkyun must have fallen back asleep- because when he wakes again his vision is blurry. He’s so cold his teeth are chattering, and it’s still pitch black in the room.

His phone reads 2:45 am, and he shifts, pulling the blankets tighter. 

“Changkyun” soft call, and his eyes shoot open again- trying to focus in the dark. Off to the side, he sees a figure- clearly leaning to see him in his bunk. 

“Hyung?” He calls soft, voice so raspy it hurts to talk. A hand reaches into his bunk, and presses to his forehead. 

“Come, get up” 

And he does, finally recognizing Jooheon’s voice. When he swings his legs over the edge he sways, unsteady. 

His visions swims again, head throbbing when he lifts himself. 

A heavy sigh and hands are hooking beneath his arm pits yanking him up not too gently. 

He grabs the others shirt, tries to steady himself. 

“Tch, how did you get like this so quickly” admonishing, and he feels the shame rise up- unable to answer the other man.

“Lean on me, come on” an arm wrapping around his waist and they shuffle out to the living-room, embarrassingly slow. 

Jooheon drops him on the couch, and he brings his legs up, trying to conserve some heat. 

Shuffling in the kitchen, drawers opening and closing- and the other comes back, a bottle of pills and a cup of water. 

“Take two” the bottle pressed into his hand, and the cup put on the table in front of him. 

He does as he’s told, struggling with the bottle a little longer than his pride can handle- but he gets it open. 

The cool water soothes his throat- and he leans back on the cushions. 

“Thanks Hyung” he says, soft- a little fragile and he doesn’t wanna cry again, so he looks up desperately. 

“.....yeah” he answers, awkward- and they sit in silence for a moment before Jooheon disappears again. 

Changkyun leans deeper into the cushions, and tucks his hands under his arms to warm up his cold fingers. He wants to move back to his bed, but he doesn’t think he can walk again without help- so he sits. 

His mind is slipping between dreams and wakefulness when a weight is settled on top of him. He startles, and then realizes it’s a thick heavy blanket- definitely not his own. 

Jooheon again, and he seems to hesitate a moment before he’s getting under the blanket with Changkyun. 

He’s exhausted, walls down a little, and he chances leaning against the other. Jooheon doesn’t push him off, just moves so Changkyun’s head can fit more comfortably on his shoulder, arm coming around his waist to tuck him in close. 

“Thank you” again, earnest, and a hand squeezes his under the blanket. 

“Sleep” gruff, but the hand holding his doesn’t let go. 

Changkyun thinks for the first time in days- maybe he can actually do this.


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heart is broken, a shoulder is cried on and trust is earned.

It becomes a habit, or fated or something bullshit like that- that Jooheon finds Changkyun whenever he’s crying. 

He’s in the bathroom, tucked up against the shower- water running to cover the sounds he’s desperately trying to hold in. 

He had gotten a call after practice- a number he recognized from the states. His stomach had fluttered, and he had slid into his shared room with Minhyuk, answering it. 

His smile had quickly been replaced with a blank stare- thumb idly picking at his hangnail, knee shaking in anxiety. 

What could he say, the others mind was clearly made up- and Changkyun bites his lip. 

“I’m sorry Dany, I just- I don’t wanna wait forever- you know?” And he had answered a soft “yeah”, throat closed up and voice thick with tears. 

“I’m sorry” and the line disconnected- his heart plummeting to his feet. 

12 weeks, 12 weeks and his relationship had fallen apart, the ocean between them- apparently just too far. 

He had pulled himself together, slapped his cheeks in the mirror and smoothed his clothes and went back out to the kitchen to eat his share of their dinner. 

The others were all tired, stuffing their rice into their mouths with drooping eyes. All except Minhyuk who stared at him knowingly, making stupid faces over his bowl. 

He had rolled his eyes and laughed- hoping to god no one noticed how it didn’t sound genuine. 

But of course, Jooheon had noticed. 

There’s a knock at the bathroom door- and Changkyun rubs his sleeve over his cheeks, wiping his tears. His chest heaves, trying to get his breathing under control. 

“Yeah?” He answers, wincing at how it sounds. 

“Can I come in?” Deep and gentle, and Changkyun panics for a moment before the door handle turns. 

It opens slow, giving him a chance to knock it closed- but he doesn’t. 

Jooheon steps in, eyes taking him in- and he can only imagine what he looked like. The other comes to sit in front of him, their knees knocking together with how close they are. He hooks fingers with Changkyun’s, rubs a thumb across the back of his hand in comfort and Changkyun feels his eyes burn again. 

“What happened?” Gentle, not prying- but genuine care and Changkyun’s lip quivers. 

“We broke up” he finally gets out, inhaling quick to hold the sound in. 

“Kyunnie- aish, I- she doesn’t deserve you then okay?” Jooheon says, leaning down so he meets the others down cast eyes. 

“He” Changkyun corrects- the word slipping out in mistake and his eyes fly wide open, while he draws his fingers back like he was burned. 

“Hyung I didn’t mean, I- she’s, she was” he panics, but Jooheon's shaking his head- waving his hands in front of his chest and trying to reach him as he struggles to get to his feet. 

“Kyunnie ah, it’s okay- it’s okay- I don’t care” he says, grabbing ice cold fingers and pulling it back so he can hold it tighter, keep him there. The others eyes are wild, like he confessed to a murder, and Jooheon feels so bad. It shouldn’t be like this, he shouldn’t have to be so scared. 

“I don’t care, he or she- it’s good with me. So then he was wrong, okay? He’s stupid and definitely doesn’t deserve you” 

Changkyun is still for a second and then his face crumbles, grip tightening to almost the point of pain when he starts to cry. 

Jooheon scoots forward, pulls his dongsaeng closer until he can get arms around shaking shoulders. He holds the other tight to his chest, doesn’t let go when he sobs. 

“Don’t tell the hyungs please, please I just started to get along with them” his voice is so small, Jooheon feels his own eyes burn. 

“I won’t tell anyone, done worry” he assures.

Sometimes Jooheon just wants to scream about their stupid standards. On love and men and everything else that doesn’t fucking matter, and he swears right there on the bathroom floor- he’s gonna take every opportunity he ever can to say it out loud.


	3. Admittance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations over coffee.

Its cold, snowflakes falling and the streets close to their dorm are adorned with Christmas decorations. The perfect cozy atmosphere for them as they walk towards the cafe. 

Jooheon had unexpectedly invited them all out, dimples on full display- obviously happy about something and Changkyun was excited to see him. They picked 346, one of the places they usually frequented because it was so intimate and had the best pastries. It also helped that the Ahjumma’s always called them cute and gave them extra things. 

Changkyun was happily walking along with Wonho close to his side for warmth- thinking about his caramel coffee. 

Then Hyungwon, ever preceptive, had sleepily asked “why did he call us all out like this? He must have something to tell us” and it had felt almost ominous as they walked through the snow. 

Shownu had shrugged, Kihyun and Minhyuk still talking dreamily about the organic coffee- but Changkyun felt uncomfortable. Hyungwon was right. 

When they got there, he picked Jooheon out immediately- dark black locks with a beanie pulled over, his signature leather jacket. Then beside him, a girl- smiling shyly and Changkyun had felt his face heat. 

He schools his features as best he can, smile stretching across his face awkwardly when Jooheon introduces her. His girlfriend, the words muttered easily and with happiness- but Changkyun felt numb. 

He sat as far away from her as possible, couldn’t bear to look at her- both jealousy and shame filling him.

They all talked, introduced themselves and were polite and funny- Jooheon’s smile was so big that Changkyun felt horrible and tried to join in as much as he could. 

“Changkyunnie, you’re the other rapper right? I love your style” She smiled at him, and he smiled back- stomach twisting. 

“Yep!” Short and awkward. He felt sick. 

“are you okay?” Minhyuk’s soft voice from beside him when Kihyun picked up the conversation and thankfully talked to her, and he nodded, staring down at the full cup in front of him. 

“just feeling a little sick, that's all” He whispered back, trying his best to not meet with the caring, perceptive eyes he knew Minhyuk would be looking at him with. 

He felt lost, and small- and so stupid for feeling anything at all. He knew he wanted to cry, that the burning nausea was because he was hurting- but he pushed it down. 

Jooheon deserved to be happy. 

The conversation continues on, until it's like white noise- his mind so far gone he misses a cue to laugh- and then another cue when Wonho tries to pull him into the conversation again. 

Eyes are drawing to him, perplexed when he isn’t really acting like himself. 

“Kyunnie-ah is feeling sick, we’re gonna head back to the dorms” Minhyuk announces- soft hand shaking him and he catches the words. He feels panic and relief all at once, eyes whipping up to catch Jooheon’s and everyone else’s clearly on him too. 

The look is concern, and curiosity- and he bows and bows, apologizing to them all before rushing out alongside his roommate. 

The walk back is in silence, as quick as their feet will carry them on the slippery ground. 

“What's wrong?” Minhyuk finally asks, hand finding his and twining their fingers once they’re inside the dorm. 

“Nothing” He tries, but his eyes are already burning- and Minhyuk drags him down the hall to their room. 

“It's something” He says soft, pulls until Changkyun sits on the edge of his bed with him. 

Changkyun bites his lip, doesn’t know what to say at all. How can he explain himself. 

“Kyunnie-ah, tell me” Minhyuk tries, a warm hand wiping away tears he didn’t even notice had started falling. 

He looks up into the others eyes, sees the concern clear- his brows furrowed and attention completely focused on Changkyun. 

“He....” The only thing he gets out, voice cracking on the word- and Minhyuk sighs softly, pulling him close into a hug.

“Joohoney...” He fills in, and Changkyun nods- throat closing up on a sob that wants to break free. 

Minhyuk pushes at him, tugs and tugs until they’re settled forehead to forehead on the bed, close enough that he can’t lie- doesn’t want to lie anymore. He’s so tired. 

“I love him” He gives up, nausea rolling in his stomach- physical ache in his chest and Minhyuk’s eyes water. 

“I know...it's okay” He answers, and Changkyun hides his face, tears spilling over his cheeks. He doesn’t deserve that- the kind acceptance when he’s the one who would fuck it all up- screw them all over because he can’t stop himself from caring just too much. 

“It's not...” He insists, tears falling so fast now that he can barely see the other man. 

“It is” Minhyuk insists, pulls him close when he curls up tight, biting his lip on a sob. 

“Kyunnie-ah, you can only feel how you feel” He says, his own voice thick with tears- and Changkyun sobs. He’s tried and tried and tried to stop, but Jooheon is just everything he’s ever wanted.


End file.
